1. The Power of Revelation
2. The Power of Visualisation
3. The Power of Confession
Words form the frame of the visual image.
Increase vocabulary = Increase the frame size
Confess the words of the Bible = Solid frame to hold our visions and dreams
I will hold on to the promises of God. Amen!
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Friday, September 22, 2006
Believe!
Mark 11:24
Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
Amen! Full recovery and complete healing for diabetic condition of my dear2~ and mycosis fungoides for myself! Begone you naughty sickness~
Yeah! High five! Thank you Jesus!
Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
Amen! Full recovery and complete healing for diabetic condition of my dear2~ and mycosis fungoides for myself! Begone you naughty sickness~
Yeah! High five! Thank you Jesus!
Six Ways to Find a New Product by Brian Tracy
There are many different sources of new product ideas for your business. Here are six of them.
Read Everything You Can
The first way to find a new product or service is to read newspaper stories, read articles, read advertisements, read the classified ads. Very often when people have new products or services available in a market or they're looking for someone to sell it or distribute it, they advertise in the classifieds under business opportunities. Read all US publications that are written for businesspeople. Look for potential in new products or services everywhere.
Study Trade Magazines
The second way to find new products or services is to read trade magazines, especially in your field of knowledge or expertise. Libraries usually have them all. Go down to the library, take a look at all the magazines and then subscribe to the very best ones.
Visit Trade Shows
The third way to find a new product or service is to go to trade shows. You need only a business card to get into a trade show and they hold trade shows everywhere all the time. You can have business cards made up for you in 24 hours.
Talk to the Key People
Present yourself as a retail buyer. Sign up at the beginning, pay the entrance fee, and present yourself as a buyer looking to buy the products offered in the trade show. Then go in and talk to the key people there. Find out what they're doing. What they're selling. Where the market is going. What the industry trends are. What is successful and what is unsuccessful and so on.
Tap Into Your Network
The fourth way to find a new product or service is your friends. Tell them that you're looking for new product ideas. Tell them you're looking for something to sell, something to distribute. Have them keep an eye out for you. Sometimes your friends will see things that you won't see, or they'll see things when they're traveling and so on.
Keep Your Eyes Open
The fifth way to find new products or services is to read Entrepreneur Magazine. Read Success Magazine. Read Inc. Magazine. Read magazines where people advertise new products or services or business opportunities. Read The Wall Street Journal. Read Money Magazine. Read Fortune. Read Business Week. Read everything that you possibly can.
Look Overseas For New Products
The sixth source of new products is foreign publications. There are three foreign publications that you can get if you look around for them. One is called Made In Europe, which has hundreds and hundreds of products that are made by European corporations who are seeking US distributors. Sometimes the distribution rights for those products are available for the asking. There's also a book called Made In Hong Kong, which has hundreds and hundreds of products made by Hong Kong corporations. And then there's another catalog from the Taiwanese Trade Consulate that's available that lists hundreds of manufacturers of thousands of products who are looking for US distributors.
Remember, 95 percent of all products are never sold outside of the country that they're manufactured in. Sometimes all you have to do is find a product that is selling well somewhere else and bring it into your market area and that can be the start of your successful business.
Action Exercises
First, take action immediately on at least one of these ideas. Buy and read magazines, visit trade shows or subscribe to foreign publications. The more information you have, the better decisions you will be able to make.
Second, ask for what you want. If you see a product or service for sale somewhere, write to the company and ask for the right to distribute it in your market area. You may be surprised.
Read Everything You Can
The first way to find a new product or service is to read newspaper stories, read articles, read advertisements, read the classified ads. Very often when people have new products or services available in a market or they're looking for someone to sell it or distribute it, they advertise in the classifieds under business opportunities. Read all US publications that are written for businesspeople. Look for potential in new products or services everywhere.
Study Trade Magazines
The second way to find new products or services is to read trade magazines, especially in your field of knowledge or expertise. Libraries usually have them all. Go down to the library, take a look at all the magazines and then subscribe to the very best ones.
Visit Trade Shows
The third way to find a new product or service is to go to trade shows. You need only a business card to get into a trade show and they hold trade shows everywhere all the time. You can have business cards made up for you in 24 hours.
Talk to the Key People
Present yourself as a retail buyer. Sign up at the beginning, pay the entrance fee, and present yourself as a buyer looking to buy the products offered in the trade show. Then go in and talk to the key people there. Find out what they're doing. What they're selling. Where the market is going. What the industry trends are. What is successful and what is unsuccessful and so on.
Tap Into Your Network
The fourth way to find a new product or service is your friends. Tell them that you're looking for new product ideas. Tell them you're looking for something to sell, something to distribute. Have them keep an eye out for you. Sometimes your friends will see things that you won't see, or they'll see things when they're traveling and so on.
Keep Your Eyes Open
The fifth way to find new products or services is to read Entrepreneur Magazine. Read Success Magazine. Read Inc. Magazine. Read magazines where people advertise new products or services or business opportunities. Read The Wall Street Journal. Read Money Magazine. Read Fortune. Read Business Week. Read everything that you possibly can.
Look Overseas For New Products
The sixth source of new products is foreign publications. There are three foreign publications that you can get if you look around for them. One is called Made In Europe, which has hundreds and hundreds of products that are made by European corporations who are seeking US distributors. Sometimes the distribution rights for those products are available for the asking. There's also a book called Made In Hong Kong, which has hundreds and hundreds of products made by Hong Kong corporations. And then there's another catalog from the Taiwanese Trade Consulate that's available that lists hundreds of manufacturers of thousands of products who are looking for US distributors.
Remember, 95 percent of all products are never sold outside of the country that they're manufactured in. Sometimes all you have to do is find a product that is selling well somewhere else and bring it into your market area and that can be the start of your successful business.
Action Exercises
First, take action immediately on at least one of these ideas. Buy and read magazines, visit trade shows or subscribe to foreign publications. The more information you have, the better decisions you will be able to make.
Second, ask for what you want. If you see a product or service for sale somewhere, write to the company and ask for the right to distribute it in your market area. You may be surprised.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
It's Easy to Earn Money by Bob Proctor
There is a very real possibility that everything you and I have been taught about how to earn money is so far from the truth that it's almost comical. Earning money has nothing to do with age, formal education, gender or geography. It has nothing to do with past experience or your formal years of education or your level of intellect. Check it out… there are individuals who are functionally illiterate who have become multi-millionaires, while there are others who are absolutely brilliant and they are broke. Virtually anyone can be taught how to earn millions of dollars and yet the sad truth is that 97 out of every 100 people are born, live their entire lives, and die without ever learning how to earn money. To perpetuate this ridiculous problem, their ignorance is passed along from one generation to the next.
Our school system has been designed as an environment to enlighten young minds, to replace ignorance with understanding and thereby improve the quality of life. Our educational system has obviously been successful in many areas. However, it has woefully neglected one important subject, "How to Earn Money." You can earn a doctorate degree in economics and have little or no knowledge of how to earn money. A lack of understanding in this area is the cause of numerous unwanted and unnecessary problems, since money is the medium of exchange that is used worldwide for other people's products and services.
There has always been a small, select group, approximately 3% of our population, who clearly understand that prosperity consciousness is the primary cause of wealth and their prosperity consciousness, like ignorance, is also passed down from one generation to the next.
Let's look at "money." What is it? Money is a reward you receive for the service you render. The more valuable the service, the greater the reward. Thinking of ways we can be of greater service will not only help us earn more money, it will also enable us to grow intellectually and spiritually.
Money Is An Idea
The paper you fold and place in your purse or pocket is not money. It is paper with ink on it. It represents money, but it is not money. Money is an idea. The earning of money has nothing to do with the paper stuff. It has to do with consciousness.
I am aware there are books that instruct you on how to manipulate the market, stocks and people… they might even help you get money. But, let me caution you… when there is no spiritual growth… there is no spiritual strength... there is no lasting happiness... and, there is no real or lasting wealth.
To accumulate wealth, a person must become very comfortable with the idea of money. That may sound strange, however most people are not comfortable with the idea of money, which is why they do not have any. The cause of poverty is poverty consciousness. A poverty consciousness will cause a person to see, hear, smell, think and feel... lack and limitation.
The late Mike Todd said, "Being broke is a temporary situation. Being poor is a mental state."
He was correct. There are wealthy people who lose every cent they have through a series of mistakes in judgment... but that does not make them poor. They will have it all back in a short time because of their prosperity consciousness.
If you have any question in your mind regarding your level of consciousness with respect to money, be very honest with yourself and look at your results. Study the patterns in your life.
If you want to improve your financial position in life, focus your attention on creating a higher level of prosperity consciousness. Begin by preparing a powerful, positive affirmation and fuel it with emotion. When you do this, you are depositing this creative energy in the treasury of your sub-conscious mind. And, by repeating this process over and over and over again every day, it will begin to alter your conditioning and mentally move you in the direction you want to go. Write it out, read it, feel it, and let it take hold of your mind.
How much money do you want? Saying you want more is not good enough. Five dollars is more. How much more? Decide on a figure. Be specific. You will not seriously want more money than you are capable of earning... however, you would be wise to remember, you must earn it.
There Are Three Income Earning Strategies
Trading time for money – By far the worst of the three income earning strategies, it is employed by approximately 96% of our population – doctors, lawyers, accountants, laborers, etc. There is an inherent problem with this strategy – saturation. You run out of time. If a person accumulates any degree of wealth employing this strategy, it will be at the expense of a life. They compromise on the car they drive, the house they live in, the clothes they choose and the vacations they take. They rarely, if ever, get what they want.
Investing money to earn money – This strategy is used by approximately 3% of the population. The number is small for the obvious reason – very few people have any money to invest. Many people who effectively employ this strategy follow the advice of a trusted, knowledgeable advisor.
Leveraging yourself to earn money – This is where you multiply your time through the efforts of others by setting up Multiple Sources of Income (MSI). This is, without question, the very best way to increase your income. Make a decision to have many sources of income; it's the strategy that wealthy people have used dating clear back to the ancient Babylonians. Unfortunately, this strategy is only used by approximately 1% of our population, yet that 1% earns approximately 96% of all the money that is earned! You are only a decision away from membership.
Once you determine how much money you want to earn, write it down on a sheet of paper in large figures. Look at the number with the dollar sign beside it and tell yourself over and over again:
That Amount of Money is an Effect.
It Represents a Reward that I Want to Receive. What Service Can I Render that Would be Deserving of that Reward?
You can take the total figure and divide it into multiple parts. Each part would represent a source of income. Each source of income represents a separate reward that you would receive for a service you would render.
Work on one source of income at a time; each one can become an exciting part of your life. What you are actually doing is thinking of different ways you can be of service to others.
Think of how you can do whatever you do – more effectively.
Think of how you can improve the quality and quantity of service you render.
Think of how you can help people in a greater way.
Money is the ultimate servant. The more you earn, the more you can help others.
Our school system has been designed as an environment to enlighten young minds, to replace ignorance with understanding and thereby improve the quality of life. Our educational system has obviously been successful in many areas. However, it has woefully neglected one important subject, "How to Earn Money." You can earn a doctorate degree in economics and have little or no knowledge of how to earn money. A lack of understanding in this area is the cause of numerous unwanted and unnecessary problems, since money is the medium of exchange that is used worldwide for other people's products and services.
There has always been a small, select group, approximately 3% of our population, who clearly understand that prosperity consciousness is the primary cause of wealth and their prosperity consciousness, like ignorance, is also passed down from one generation to the next.
Let's look at "money." What is it? Money is a reward you receive for the service you render. The more valuable the service, the greater the reward. Thinking of ways we can be of greater service will not only help us earn more money, it will also enable us to grow intellectually and spiritually.
Money Is An Idea
The paper you fold and place in your purse or pocket is not money. It is paper with ink on it. It represents money, but it is not money. Money is an idea. The earning of money has nothing to do with the paper stuff. It has to do with consciousness.
I am aware there are books that instruct you on how to manipulate the market, stocks and people… they might even help you get money. But, let me caution you… when there is no spiritual growth… there is no spiritual strength... there is no lasting happiness... and, there is no real or lasting wealth.
To accumulate wealth, a person must become very comfortable with the idea of money. That may sound strange, however most people are not comfortable with the idea of money, which is why they do not have any. The cause of poverty is poverty consciousness. A poverty consciousness will cause a person to see, hear, smell, think and feel... lack and limitation.
The late Mike Todd said, "Being broke is a temporary situation. Being poor is a mental state."
He was correct. There are wealthy people who lose every cent they have through a series of mistakes in judgment... but that does not make them poor. They will have it all back in a short time because of their prosperity consciousness.
If you have any question in your mind regarding your level of consciousness with respect to money, be very honest with yourself and look at your results. Study the patterns in your life.
If you want to improve your financial position in life, focus your attention on creating a higher level of prosperity consciousness. Begin by preparing a powerful, positive affirmation and fuel it with emotion. When you do this, you are depositing this creative energy in the treasury of your sub-conscious mind. And, by repeating this process over and over and over again every day, it will begin to alter your conditioning and mentally move you in the direction you want to go. Write it out, read it, feel it, and let it take hold of your mind.
How much money do you want? Saying you want more is not good enough. Five dollars is more. How much more? Decide on a figure. Be specific. You will not seriously want more money than you are capable of earning... however, you would be wise to remember, you must earn it.
There Are Three Income Earning Strategies
Trading time for money – By far the worst of the three income earning strategies, it is employed by approximately 96% of our population – doctors, lawyers, accountants, laborers, etc. There is an inherent problem with this strategy – saturation. You run out of time. If a person accumulates any degree of wealth employing this strategy, it will be at the expense of a life. They compromise on the car they drive, the house they live in, the clothes they choose and the vacations they take. They rarely, if ever, get what they want.
Investing money to earn money – This strategy is used by approximately 3% of the population. The number is small for the obvious reason – very few people have any money to invest. Many people who effectively employ this strategy follow the advice of a trusted, knowledgeable advisor.
Leveraging yourself to earn money – This is where you multiply your time through the efforts of others by setting up Multiple Sources of Income (MSI). This is, without question, the very best way to increase your income. Make a decision to have many sources of income; it's the strategy that wealthy people have used dating clear back to the ancient Babylonians. Unfortunately, this strategy is only used by approximately 1% of our population, yet that 1% earns approximately 96% of all the money that is earned! You are only a decision away from membership.
Once you determine how much money you want to earn, write it down on a sheet of paper in large figures. Look at the number with the dollar sign beside it and tell yourself over and over again:
That Amount of Money is an Effect.
It Represents a Reward that I Want to Receive. What Service Can I Render that Would be Deserving of that Reward?
You can take the total figure and divide it into multiple parts. Each part would represent a source of income. Each source of income represents a separate reward that you would receive for a service you would render.
Work on one source of income at a time; each one can become an exciting part of your life. What you are actually doing is thinking of different ways you can be of service to others.
Think of how you can do whatever you do – more effectively.
Think of how you can improve the quality and quantity of service you render.
Think of how you can help people in a greater way.
Money is the ultimate servant. The more you earn, the more you can help others.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
RENEW & SMART
Replace old thinking with new thinking
Enunciate = Positive Self-talk
New imagination = Visualize in Images
Enlarge my knowledge base = Read Alot
Walk SMART
Doing R+E+N = Meditation (Joshua 1:8)
and then = Prosperous & Successful
SMART =
Specific
Measurable
Action plan
Realistic
Time
Strive to make it financially and still be godly!
Enunciate = Positive Self-talk
New imagination = Visualize in Images
Enlarge my knowledge base = Read Alot
Walk SMART
Doing R+E+N = Meditation (Joshua 1:8)
and then = Prosperous & Successful
SMART =
Specific
Measurable
Action plan
Realistic
Time
Strive to make it financially and still be godly!
Your Ideal Self and Life by Brian Tracy
Your self-concept is made up of three parts, each of which affects each of the others. Understanding these three parts enables you to put your hands on the keyboard of your own mental computer. When you learn to take charge of the development of a new and positive self-concept of selling, you can then control your sales destiny for the rest of your career.
Determine Your Direction
The first part of the self-concept is the "self-ideal." Your self-ideal largely determines the direction in which you are going with your life. It guides the growth and evolution of your character and personality. Your self-ideal is a combination of all of the qualities and attributes of other people that you most admire. Your self-ideal is a description of the person you would very much like to be if you could embody the qualities that you most aspire to.
Strive Toward Excellence
Throughout your life, you have seen and read about the qualities of courage, confidence, compassion, love, fortitude, perseverance, patience, forgiveness and integrity. Over time, these qualities have instilled in you an ideal to which you aspire. You might not always live up to the very best that you know, but you are constantly striving to be a better person in light of those qualities that you value so highly. In fact, everything that you do on a day-to-day basis is affected by your comparing your activities with these ideal qualities and your striving to behave consistently with them.
Clarity is Essential
Successful salespeople have very clear ideals for themselves and their careers. Unsuccessful salespeople have fuzzy ideals. Successful salespeople are very clear about being excellent in every part of their work and their personal lives. Unsuccessful salespeople don't give the subject very much thought. One of the primary characteristics of successful men and women in every walk of life is that they have very clearly defined ideals and they are very aware of whether or not their current behaviors are consistent with their idealized behaviors.
Set Challenging Goals
Part of your ideals are your goals. As you set higher and more challenging goals, your self-ideal improves and crystallizes. When you set goals for the kind of person you want to be and the kind of life you want to live, your self-ideal rises and becomes a greater guiding and motivating force in your life.
Your Future is Unlimited
Perhaps the most important thing for you to realize is that whatever anyone else has done or become, you can do or become as well. Improvements in your self-ideal begin in your imagination, and in your imagination, there are no limits except the ones that you accept.
What is your ideal vision of the very best person you could possibly become? How would you behave each day if you were already that person? Asking yourself these questions and then living your life consistent with the answers is the first step to creating yourself in your ideal image.
Action Exercises
Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.
First, dream big dreams. Set big, exciting, challenging goals and ideals for yourself in every part of your life. Allow yourself to imagine a wonderful life ahead.
Second, think about how you would act if you were an outstanding person in every way. Then, practice being this person, as though you were acting a role in a play.
You’ll immediately notice a difference in your behavior.
Determine Your Direction
The first part of the self-concept is the "self-ideal." Your self-ideal largely determines the direction in which you are going with your life. It guides the growth and evolution of your character and personality. Your self-ideal is a combination of all of the qualities and attributes of other people that you most admire. Your self-ideal is a description of the person you would very much like to be if you could embody the qualities that you most aspire to.
Strive Toward Excellence
Throughout your life, you have seen and read about the qualities of courage, confidence, compassion, love, fortitude, perseverance, patience, forgiveness and integrity. Over time, these qualities have instilled in you an ideal to which you aspire. You might not always live up to the very best that you know, but you are constantly striving to be a better person in light of those qualities that you value so highly. In fact, everything that you do on a day-to-day basis is affected by your comparing your activities with these ideal qualities and your striving to behave consistently with them.
Clarity is Essential
Successful salespeople have very clear ideals for themselves and their careers. Unsuccessful salespeople have fuzzy ideals. Successful salespeople are very clear about being excellent in every part of their work and their personal lives. Unsuccessful salespeople don't give the subject very much thought. One of the primary characteristics of successful men and women in every walk of life is that they have very clearly defined ideals and they are very aware of whether or not their current behaviors are consistent with their idealized behaviors.
Set Challenging Goals
Part of your ideals are your goals. As you set higher and more challenging goals, your self-ideal improves and crystallizes. When you set goals for the kind of person you want to be and the kind of life you want to live, your self-ideal rises and becomes a greater guiding and motivating force in your life.
Your Future is Unlimited
Perhaps the most important thing for you to realize is that whatever anyone else has done or become, you can do or become as well. Improvements in your self-ideal begin in your imagination, and in your imagination, there are no limits except the ones that you accept.
What is your ideal vision of the very best person you could possibly become? How would you behave each day if you were already that person? Asking yourself these questions and then living your life consistent with the answers is the first step to creating yourself in your ideal image.
Action Exercises
Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.
First, dream big dreams. Set big, exciting, challenging goals and ideals for yourself in every part of your life. Allow yourself to imagine a wonderful life ahead.
Second, think about how you would act if you were an outstanding person in every way. Then, practice being this person, as though you were acting a role in a play.
You’ll immediately notice a difference in your behavior.
Mind and Self Image 2
I must put on the mind of Christ to be smart.. To use my brains for ideas and solutions.
Monday, September 11, 2006
Mind and Self Image 1
Romans 12:2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is — his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Keep away from:
1. Earthly mind
2. Carnal mind
3. Proud mind
4. Childish mind
And grow in:
1. The mind of Christ
Amen!
Keep away from:
1. Earthly mind
2. Carnal mind
3. Proud mind
4. Childish mind
And grow in:
1. The mind of Christ
Amen!
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Money: Debt-Free Living & Prosperity
Learn from the wisest and wealthiest man in his time.
1. Keep Good Records. Prov 27:23-24
2. Plan My Spending. Prov 21:5
3. Enjoy What I Already Have. Prov 21:17
4. Reduce My Debts Rapidly. Prov 3:27
5. Work Hard In My Job. Prov 10:4
6. Pay My Tithes Faithfully And On Time. 1Cor 16:2, Deut 14:22-23
7. Give My Best Offerings To God Regularly. Prov 3:9-10
1. Keep Good Records. Prov 27:23-24
2. Plan My Spending. Prov 21:5
3. Enjoy What I Already Have. Prov 21:17
4. Reduce My Debts Rapidly. Prov 3:27
5. Work Hard In My Job. Prov 10:4
6. Pay My Tithes Faithfully And On Time. 1Cor 16:2, Deut 14:22-23
7. Give My Best Offerings To God Regularly. Prov 3:9-10
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Love the Opportunity by Jim Rohn
Somebody said you have to love what you do, but that's not necessarily true. What is true is that you have to love the opportunity. The opportunity to build life, future, health, success and fortune. Knocking on someone's door or making that extra call may not be something you love to do, but you love the opportunity of what might be behind that door or call.
For example, a guy says, "I'm digging ditches. Should I love digging ditches?" The answer is, "No, you don't have to love digging ditches, but if it is your first entry onto the ladder of success, you say, 'I'm glad somebody gave me the opportunity to dig ditches and I'm going to do it so well, I won't be here long.'"
You can be inspired by having found something; even though you are making mistakes in the beginning and even though it is a little distasteful taking on a new discipline that you haven't learned before. You don't have to love it, you just have to learn to appreciate where you live, appreciate opportunity and appreciate the person who brought you the good news; that found you.
Appreciate the person who believed in you before you believed in yourself, appreciate the person who said, "Hey, if I can do it, you can do it."
If you will embrace the disciplines associated with the new opportunity you will soon find that your self-confidence starts to grow, that you go from being a skeptic to being a believer. And soon when you go out person to person, talking to people, you will find it to be the most thrilling opportunity in the world. Every person you meet - what could it be? Unlimited! Maybe a friend for life. The next person could be an open door to retiring. The next person could be a colleague for years to come. It's big time stuff. And sometimes in the beginning when we are just getting started we don't always see how big it is.
So, before you are tempted to give up or get discouraged, remember all success is based on long term commitment, faith, discipline, attitude and a few stepping stones along the way. You might not like the stone you are on right now, but it's sure to be one of the stones that lead to great opportunities in the future.
For example, a guy says, "I'm digging ditches. Should I love digging ditches?" The answer is, "No, you don't have to love digging ditches, but if it is your first entry onto the ladder of success, you say, 'I'm glad somebody gave me the opportunity to dig ditches and I'm going to do it so well, I won't be here long.'"
You can be inspired by having found something; even though you are making mistakes in the beginning and even though it is a little distasteful taking on a new discipline that you haven't learned before. You don't have to love it, you just have to learn to appreciate where you live, appreciate opportunity and appreciate the person who brought you the good news; that found you.
Appreciate the person who believed in you before you believed in yourself, appreciate the person who said, "Hey, if I can do it, you can do it."
If you will embrace the disciplines associated with the new opportunity you will soon find that your self-confidence starts to grow, that you go from being a skeptic to being a believer. And soon when you go out person to person, talking to people, you will find it to be the most thrilling opportunity in the world. Every person you meet - what could it be? Unlimited! Maybe a friend for life. The next person could be an open door to retiring. The next person could be a colleague for years to come. It's big time stuff. And sometimes in the beginning when we are just getting started we don't always see how big it is.
So, before you are tempted to give up or get discouraged, remember all success is based on long term commitment, faith, discipline, attitude and a few stepping stones along the way. You might not like the stone you are on right now, but it's sure to be one of the stones that lead to great opportunities in the future.
Friday, September 01, 2006
AH BENG the Crazy Singaporean
> Why did Ah Beng go to a movie with his 18 friends?
> Because below 18 not allowed Lah !
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Ah Beng wants to buy a TV set. He goes to a shop.
> Ah Beng : "Do you have color TV ?"
> Salesgirl : "Yes !"
> Ah Beng : "Give me a green one, please "
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Ah Beng is filling up an application form for a job.
> He supplied the information for the columns on Name, Age,
> Address etc.
> Then he comes to column on "Salary Expected", but he is not sure
> of the question.
> After much thought, he writes " Yes "
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Ah Beng goes to a store and sees a shiny object.
> Ah Beng : "What is that shiny object ?"
> Salesgirl : "That is a thermos flask."
> Ah Beng : "What does it do ?"
> Salesgirl : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"
> Ah Beng : "I'll buy it"
> The next day, Ah Beng goes to work with his thermo flask
> Boss : "What is that shiny object ?"
> Ah Beng : "It's a thermos flask."
> Boss : "What does it do ?"
> Ah Beng : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"
> Boss : "What do you have in it !?"
> Ah Beng : "Two cups of coffee and one cup of ice cream"
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> After taking photocopies of documents, Ah Beng always compares
> it with the original for spelling mistakes.
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Ah Beng always smiles during lightning storms because he thinks
> his picture is being taken.
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Why can't Ah Beng dial 911?
> Because he can't find the number 11 (eleven) on the phone.
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it.
> When he encountered some problems. He decide to use the 'Help'
> command after some tries.
> Soon after, he became very irritated and called the computer
> retailer for support.
> Ah Beng : "I press the 'F1' key for help lah, but it's been
> over half an hour and still nobody come and help me Lah ?!"
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor.
> The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he
> answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring, lah - but
> instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it
> to my ear, lah" "Oh dear !" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ...
> what happened to the other ear ?"
> Ah Beng answered : "That stupid dumbo called back, lah !!!!"
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Ah Beng talk to a long-distance telephone operator.
> Ah Beng: "COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
> Taipei
> AND LAS VEGAS ?"
> Operator: "JUST A MINUTE..."
> Ah Beng : "THANK YOU , lah" AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE.
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for
> quite some time, Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a
> friend.
> "It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT", Ah Beng brags.
> "FIVE MONTHS ? THAT'S TOO LONG", the friend exclaims.
> "YOU ARE A FOOL." Ah Beng replies, "SEE THIS BOX, IT IS WRITTEN
> FOR 4-7 YRS".
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> At a bar in New York, the man to Ah Beng's left tells the
> bartender,
> "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE"
> and his companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE".
> The bartender approaches Ah Beng and asks, "AND YOU, SIR ?"
> Ah Beng replies : "Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED lah"
> -------? ? ? ? ? ? ?-------
> Because below 18 not allowed Lah !
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Ah Beng wants to buy a TV set. He goes to a shop.
> Ah Beng : "Do you have color TV ?"
> Salesgirl : "Yes !"
> Ah Beng : "Give me a green one, please "
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Ah Beng is filling up an application form for a job.
> He supplied the information for the columns on Name, Age,
> Address etc.
> Then he comes to column on "Salary Expected", but he is not sure
> of the question.
> After much thought, he writes " Yes "
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Ah Beng goes to a store and sees a shiny object.
> Ah Beng : "What is that shiny object ?"
> Salesgirl : "That is a thermos flask."
> Ah Beng : "What does it do ?"
> Salesgirl : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"
> Ah Beng : "I'll buy it"
> The next day, Ah Beng goes to work with his thermo flask
> Boss : "What is that shiny object ?"
> Ah Beng : "It's a thermos flask."
> Boss : "What does it do ?"
> Ah Beng : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"
> Boss : "What do you have in it !?"
> Ah Beng : "Two cups of coffee and one cup of ice cream"
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> After taking photocopies of documents, Ah Beng always compares
> it with the original for spelling mistakes.
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Ah Beng always smiles during lightning storms because he thinks
> his picture is being taken.
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Why can't Ah Beng dial 911?
> Because he can't find the number 11 (eleven) on the phone.
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it.
> When he encountered some problems. He decide to use the 'Help'
> command after some tries.
> Soon after, he became very irritated and called the computer
> retailer for support.
> Ah Beng : "I press the 'F1' key for help lah, but it's been
> over half an hour and still nobody come and help me Lah ?!"
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor.
> The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he
> answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring, lah - but
> instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it
> to my ear, lah" "Oh dear !" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ...
> what happened to the other ear ?"
> Ah Beng answered : "That stupid dumbo called back, lah !!!!"
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Ah Beng talk to a long-distance telephone operator.
> Ah Beng: "COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
> Taipei
> AND LAS VEGAS ?"
> Operator: "JUST A MINUTE..."
> Ah Beng : "THANK YOU , lah" AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE.
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for
> quite some time, Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a
> friend.
> "It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT", Ah Beng brags.
> "FIVE MONTHS ? THAT'S TOO LONG", the friend exclaims.
> "YOU ARE A FOOL." Ah Beng replies, "SEE THIS BOX, IT IS WRITTEN
> FOR 4-7 YRS".
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> At a bar in New York, the man to Ah Beng's left tells the
> bartender,
> "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE"
> and his companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE".
> The bartender approaches Ah Beng and asks, "AND YOU, SIR ?"
> Ah Beng replies : "Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED lah"
> -------? ? ? ? ? ? ?-------
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