AH BENG the Crazy Singaporean

> Why did Ah Beng go to a movie with his 18 friends?
> Because below 18 not allowed Lah !
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Ah Beng wants to buy a TV set. He goes to a shop.
> Ah Beng : "Do you have color TV ?"
> Salesgirl : "Yes !"
> Ah Beng : "Give me a green one, please "
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Ah Beng is filling up an application form for a job.
> He supplied the information for the columns on Name, Age,
> Address etc.
> Then he comes to column on "Salary Expected", but he is not sure
> of the question.
> After much thought, he writes " Yes "
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Ah Beng goes to a store and sees a shiny object.
> Ah Beng : "What is that shiny object ?"
> Salesgirl : "That is a thermos flask."
> Ah Beng : "What does it do ?"
> Salesgirl : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"
> Ah Beng : "I'll buy it"
> The next day, Ah Beng goes to work with his thermo flask
> Boss : "What is that shiny object ?"
> Ah Beng : "It's a thermos flask."
> Boss : "What does it do ?"
> Ah Beng : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"
> Boss : "What do you have in it !?"
> Ah Beng : "Two cups of coffee and one cup of ice cream"
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> After taking photocopies of documents, Ah Beng always compares
> it with the original for spelling mistakes.
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Ah Beng always smiles during lightning storms because he thinks
> his picture is being taken.
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>
> Why can't Ah Beng dial 911?
> Because he can't find the number 11 (eleven) on the phone.
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>
> Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it.
> When he encountered some problems. He decide to use the 'Help'
> command after some tries.
> Soon after, he became very irritated and called the computer
> retailer for support.
> Ah Beng : "I press the 'F1' key for help lah, but it's been
> over half an hour and still nobody come and help me Lah ?!"
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor.
> The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he
> answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring, lah - but
> instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it
> to my ear, lah" "Oh dear !" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ...
> what happened to the other ear ?"
> Ah Beng answered : "That stupid dumbo called back, lah !!!!"
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Ah Beng talk to a long-distance telephone operator.
> Ah Beng: "COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
> Taipei
> AND LAS VEGAS ?"
> Operator: "JUST A MINUTE..."
> Ah Beng : "THANK YOU , lah" AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE.
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for
> quite some time, Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a
> friend.
> "It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT", Ah Beng brags.
> "FIVE MONTHS ? THAT'S TOO LONG", the friend exclaims.
> "YOU ARE A FOOL." Ah Beng replies, "SEE THIS BOX, IT IS WRITTEN
> FOR 4-7 YRS".
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> At a bar in New York, the man to Ah Beng's left tells the
> bartender,
> "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE"
> and his companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE".
> The bartender approaches Ah Beng and asks, "AND YOU, SIR ?"
> Ah Beng replies : "Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED lah"
> -------? ? ? ? ? ? ?-------