Has the Golden Rule Lost Its Glitter? by Tony Alessandra

Absolutely not! The Golden Rule has as much "glitter" as ever. I believe and practice it 110%, especially when it comes to values, ethics, honesty and consideration. However, when it comes to interpersonal communication, it can very well backfire. The Golden Rule states: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Basically translated, that says to treat others the way you would like to be treated, which of course isn't always the case.

An addition to the Golden Rule is The Platinum Rule: "Treat others the way they want to be treated." The focus of relationships shifts from "this is what I want, so I'll give everyone the same thing" to "let me first understand what they want and then I'll give it to them."

The goal of The Platinum Rule is personal chemistry and productive relationships. You don't have to change your personality. You simply have to understand what drives people and recognize your options for dealing with them. The Platinum Rule divides behavioral preferences into four personality styles: Director, Socializer, Relater, and Thinker. Everyone possesses the qualities of each style to various degrees and everyone has a dominant style. The key to using The Platinum Rule is understanding what a person's dominant personality style is and treating him/her appropriately.

Now to get you thinking about the concept, here is a very basic breakdown:

Directors are driven by two governing needs: to control and achieve. They are goal-oriented go-getters who are most comfortable when they are in charge of people and situations.

Socializers are friendly and enthusiastic and like to be where the action is. They thrive on admiration, acknowledgment, and compliments. They are idea-people who excel at getting others excited about their vision.

Thinkers are analytical, persistent, systematic people who enjoy problem solving. They are detail-oriented, which makes them more concerned with content than style. Thinkers are task-oriented people who enjoy perfecting processes and working toward tangible results.

Relaters are warm and nurturing individuals. They are the most people-oriented of the four styles. Relaters are excellent listeners, devoted friends, and loyal employees. They are good planners, persistent workers, and good with follow-through.

The Platinum Rule provides powerful life-skills that will serve you well in all your relationships: business, friends, family, spouse, and children.