Some years ago, while I was living in San Diego, I read an intriguing article in our city newspaper. It seems a woman and her young son were in a toy store one day and found a wallet. When they looked inside, they were astounded. They found nearly $2,400, a credit card and a ticket to the Bahamas. At first, Pauline Nichter thought the money was fake. After all, she said, they were in a toy store. But, alas, those Benjamins were genuine. According to the article, Pauline thought for a second about keeping it. But only for a second. She knew it would be wrong and she knew how important it was to set an example for her son. So, she turned it in to the police.
It was then that the real story unfolded. This woman and her son were homeless. A few months earlier both she and her husband had lost their jobs and now the three of them were living in their car. It wouldn’t be long before they would lose that as well, since they couldn’t continue their payments.
Think about it. They had almost nothing—and yet this woman still turned in every dime of that money she found in the store.
Her behavior set off an amazing series of events. Money, job offers and words of affirmation poured into that police station on a daily basis. Within weeks, she and her husband had over 700 employment opportunities, thousands of “thank you” letters, their car payments were made current, and they were given an overwhelming amount of cash...far more than if she’d kept the money in the wallet. In fact, one man walked into the police station and inquired about the exact amount of cash inside the lost wallet.
When he was told, he wrote a check for that amount and said, “Well then, that’s what this family deserves.”
Pauline and her husband responded by saying through her tears, “We had no idea this kind of reaction would happen. This is beyond our wildest dreams. All we did was the right thing.”
So what makes this kind of honesty and integrity so memorable? That’s simple. Because it’s so rare. What makes it so rare? In this day and age we live, let me suggest a few reasons.
First, we are very pragmatic.
It’s far too easy for us to rationalize keeping a lost wallet or camera or lottery ticket we find on the ground. We say: "It’s just a little thing," or "They must have insurance." We are masters at justifying our own needs and desires.
Second, we are impatient. Returning a lost item or explaining our right behavior can be a hassle and we are in a hurry to get to our own goals. We have no time to mess with forms or explanations. Sometimes it costs too much time and energy to do the ethical thing.
Third, we love progress. Sometimes, our love of progress can erode our integrity. Last month, I shared the story of a high school basketball coach who returned the state championship trophy because one of their players, who was ineligible, played for 45 seconds in a playoff game. Most of us would have said, “It’s no big deal! He only played for 45 seconds, and he had no bearing on our victory in the championship game!" Our love of victory can fog our sense of right and wrong.
Last month, we discussed why leadership integrity is in such demand. In this article, I want to unpack why its so important and how to develop it. We are calling it: moral intelligence. All humans have moral intelligence—to a greater or lesser degree. In the same way we are born linguistic (and have the capacity to speak a language) yet must still learn a language in our early years, we are born with the capacity to live morally, but we must learn to embrace integrity and morality.
Why Should Leaders Care?
So what’s the big deal? Why must leaders care so much about integrity and morality? Is it more important for leaders than anyone else? Why do we make such a huge issue out of character?
1. Character builds credibility.
Leaders won’t accomplish much if people don’t believe they are credible.
2. Character earns respect.
We all wish we got more respect. We don’t get it by pursuing it; we get it by building character.
3. Character creates consistency.
There’s nothing worse than a moody leader. Strong character enables you to live consistently.
4. Character earns trust.
Leadership operates on the basis of trust. People follow you in proportion to how much they trust you.
How Do We Develop Moral Intelligence?
Let me remind you that moral intelligence is not your I.Q. That measures your mental intelligence. It also isn’t your E.Q. That measures your emotional intelligence. Moral intelligence measures the depth of character you possess and the level of integrity you practice. It answers the question: Do you live and lead by your ethics? Let me give you a few action steps you can take to build your moral intelligence.
1. Interview leaders who possess character.
In the same way you learned to speak English by being around a family that spoke the language, you learn character by being around it. Find leaders who practice integrity and get around them. Spend time asking questions about how they developed it and how they think or make decisions.
2. Perform two practices each week that you don’t like.
I’ve done this for years. Find two actions each week that your flesh just hates to do; things that are difficult and require discipline to perform. Purposefully do them. It may be a chore, or cleaning up your desk or eating broccoli. This will build your character just like weight lifting builds your muscle mass. Keep your fleshly pleasures subordinate to your spiritual discipline.
3. Fix your eyes on a clear purpose and set some goals.
Few things keep us pure better than noble goals. Identify a goal that will stretch you and set some action steps that will move you toward that goal. By staying focused on an objective outside of yourself, you will find it easier to develop character.
4. Find one worthwhile need and give anonymously to it.
Here’s what I’ve discovered. When I give anonymously to some cause or need, my character grows each time I do it. It’s just how God wired us. When the reward is only in the act, not in being paid or thanked for our deed, our moral intelligence is what grows.
5. Learn the “why’s” behind God’s commands.
When we discover why God commands us to live a certain way, it helps us to live up to it. In fact, it also helps us to begin thinking like God thinks and valuing what He values.
6. Write out promises you’ve made.
By putting your promises on paper, you’ll often find a greater propensity to keep them. Sometimes it’s what marks the difference between living up to them and not achieving them.
When leaders pursue the construction of their character instead of pursuing some leadership position, it actually makes them more attractive. One might even argue it communicates a greater readiness for a leadership role. When someone says: “I will lead myself before I try to lead anyone else” it magnetically draws people to trust them. They become winsome and it positions them to be followed by others.
During the 1800s, Henry Clay was a politician who wanted to become president. However, he all but lost his chance to do so one afternoon in front of congress. That day, he planned on speaking on behalf of a bill that was very unpopular. His leglislation would call the states to a higher responsibility, and few liked it.
Just has he stepped up to the podium a friend grabbed him and said, “Henry—if you try to pass this bill you will ruin your chances at becoming president!”
Henry Clay just looked down at the bill in his hand and asked: “But is this right?”
When his friend replied, “Well, yes, I believe it is,” Henry Clay responded with these classic words: “Well then, I’d rather be right than president.”
Oh, could we use those words today.
Changing Lives ... One At A Time ....
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